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The
Crucifixion Story, Itself:
.
Big
D
One
day, God
decided do something about the evil nature of humans.
According to Christian theology, He decided to convert a few inherently evil humans into "good
folks" and fill up his apparently-empty-except-for-Jesus-and-the-angels heaven.
BUT.
. .
He didn't simply stop making humans evil. He
didn't acknowledge His own responsibility for making
humans inherently evil and simply change His ways. He didn't "look at the blueprints for making
human beings" and "shift a line or two" and, thus, end this whole, dumb "inherently evil"
fiasco. Instead, he sent his kid to Earth to
get murdered by Roman soldiers, and that murder was
intended to show humans how much He (God) loves
humans.
T.L.C.
If a human being committed a premeditated act of murder
and then billed it as
an expression of love, he or she would get a one-way,
no-return ticket to the loony bin.
Big
D
Ya, but God's all
powerful.
T.L.C.
Do
you suppose God is subject to the
Maxim, "Power
corrupts and absolute power corrupts
absolutely."?
Big
D
Good question, Stoney. I
. . .
T.L.C.
Never
mind. Please continue.
Big
D When
someone does something for the express purpose of producing a result, and
when one looks at the cause and effect relationship between the intentional
act and its intended result, both the cause and effect are usually pretty
obvious. For example, "Joe added sugar to his coffee to
make it sweeter." Does
anyone question that adding sugar to coffee makes it sweeter. T.L.C.
No,
the relationship is obvious. Big
D How about: "Suzie
stepped on the brake to stop the car." or "Jean was
cold, so she put on a sweater." or This story didn't make sense, so I
asked for clarity. T.L.C.
The relationships are obvious. Big
D And on and on it goes,
statement after statement, with nary a doubt about how
the specific causes are designed to produced predictable results. --
He washed" his hands to get
them clean." --
"He ate the fish to satisfy his
hunger" -- "He
looked under the bed to find his
shoes." -- "He
murdered one of his own
children to prove he loves
you." T.L.C.
Wait a minute.
Murder and love are obviously
incongruous. The
statement is ridiculous, but what
does any of this have to do with the Christian crucifixion story. Big
D
I'll get to that in a moment.
First answer this question. Do
you know of anyone anywhere who
thinks that murdering one's
own child is an act of love? T.L.C.
No, but the story must
be true because nobody in their
right mind would intentionally come
up with such a ridiculous, non sequitur expression of love and
then speak it out into the world as if it were
an irrefutable fact. Big
D The action and the intended
results are worlds
apart. T.L.C.
I know, that's why it must be true
and why it must have come from God. Big
D Say
that again. T.L.C.
He doesn't have to
make sense. He is God,
you know. Nobody but God
could get away with saying anything
that absurd. Big
D Have you been taking
smart-ass pills. T.L.C.
No, I've been
listening to you. Big
D I'll take that as a
compliment. Suppose, for a moment,
that you get to talk to God him/her/itself. T.L.C.
OK. Big
D So there you are face to
face with the ultimate master of wisdom and creativity -- face to face
with whatever he/she/it is that has the capacity to create the entirety of the
universe and keep it working with infinite precision. And you
say to God: "So, I hear rumors that you are going to stop
creating defective human beings? Is that true, or are you just
kidding?" "I
wasn't kidding. It's true," He says, and so you ask, "How
are you going to do that?" And
He Replies, "I'm going to set one of my children up to be murdered by
Roman soldiers." And
in wonderment, you ask, "How
does the suffering and dying of Jesus -- how does murdering
one of your children -- cause humans to no longer
be inherently evil?" You
and God both just sit there in
silence. You look Him
directly in the eyes and wait for an
answer, and after a long time,
God says, "Look behind
you." You turn
around to look, but see nothing, and
when you turn back to where God's
was sitting on his throne, you see
the throne is empty. God
has slipped out the back
door. And.
. . ? Big
D If there's a link
somewhere, between committing murder
and expressing love, nobody that I
know of has ever been able to
find it. T.L.C.
But, according
to the Christian theology, God setting his kid up to be murdered was supposed to solve
the "inherently evil" problem. Big
D
But it
didn't solve the problem. It didn't even come
close to solving the
problem. It actually compounded it and made it many
times more confusing.
T.L.C.
How?
Big
D
According to Christian
theology, the murder resulted in some humans having
the opportunity to follow the orders of Roman Catholic
Church leaders and
thereby get God to forgive them for something they didn't
do and then, after the death of the physical body, be invited into Christian heaven
above the clouds of a flat Earth.
It left everybody else exactly where
they were before the murder, still inherently evil, and
either condemned to hell or abandoned to an unspecified
fate. The God of fundamental Christianity
even condemned millions innocent
babies to burn in hell. And
it left everybody on the entire planet completely dependent upon
"God's
one and only real Church"
for salvation.
T.L.C.
How
about those who were not aware that
Christian Church even existed?
Big
D
Yup, them too. It did absolutely noting
for billions of humans who were not beholding and subservient
to or even aware of the Roman Catholic Church.
It did absolutely nothing for the
victims of the previous five
thousand years of God's sadistic
behavior. It did not forgive
Eve and Adam. And God is
still, right now, creating all humans
inherently evil.
T.L.C.
Even
today? I thought he
fixed the problem.
Big
D
I just told you that he
didn't. The
only thing He's did was offer a few
people the opportunity to get their
inherent-evilness
cancelled.
Of course, they still had to go
through an Earth life and follow all
the rules. Nobody
is quite sure exactly what those
rules are, but God will punch your
E-ticket to heaven only if you
followed them.
T.L.C.
But
there are several conflicting
rules.
Big
D
Didn't
and doesn't matter. Just
follow the rules or your on your way
to hell.
T.L.C.
But,
which rules?
Big
D
Nobody knows for sure.
Just follow the rules or your on
your way to hell.
T.L.C.
But,
that doesn't make any sense?
Big
D
Didn't
and doesn't matter. Just
follow the rules or your on your way
to hell.
T.L.C.
Are you
playing "broken
record" with me?
Big
D
Doesn't
matter whether I am or
not. Just follow the
rules or your on your way to
hell.
T.L.C.
Ok, I give up. What's
with condemning babies to burn in
hell?
Big
D
Well, you see, according to the way
present-day Christians are promoting
their theology, every time a human
sperm and egg meet, God performs and
an instantaneous, supernatural, transcendental,
conception magic act and creates a
brand new human being.
T.L.C.
Yes,
You already told me that.***ps-52-7
Big
D
Then when God forces a pregnant
woman to give up her soon-to-be-a-baby
fetus before birth in a miscarriage,
that newly created human being is
condemned to hell or to some unknown
place.***ps-52-11
Nobody knows for sure exactly
where the being goes, except
perhaps the fundamentalist Christian
leaders, and they're mum on this
topic.
T.L.C.
What
about Eve and Adam? What
ever happened to them?
Where are they
today?
Big
D
Don't know.
T.L.C.
We
ought to find them and set them up
in a tourist museum. We could
make tons of money with an
attraction like that.
Big
D
Stoney, you're a man after my own
heart. Let's do it.
T.L.C.
No
thanks. I was just
kidding.
Big
D
So was I.
T.L.C.
Big D,
bottom line this for me.
Big
D
OK. To make a long story
short, here's the super being of all
beings;
here's
the creator of all creation;
here's the all knowing, all
powerful, all present God,
here's the
All-Powerful God who can suspend any
and all rules at his whim,
and the best He can come
up with to fix His previous screw up is to set up His own
child to be murdered.
And
when it comes to the crucifixion story, itself, all we
have is hearsay accounts of what actually happened from people who
were not present at the event they described. As
you probably know, the Christian
Bible was not put together in its
present format until about
three-hundred years after the event.
T.L.C.
It
sounds to me like the chances of the
Biblical account of the
crucifixion being absolutely
accurate is somewhere between slim
to none.
Big
D
Your
assessment is probably accurate
because there really isn't a great
deal of information in the Bible
about what actually happened.
T.L.C.
But
there's a whole story
there.
Big
D
Yes,
but the story is mostly about other
people and how they related to
Jesus. What we don't
know, is how Jesus did what he
did.
Here's a list of reasons why the
Fundamental Christian interpretation
of the death of Jesus may not be
accurate:
First,
viewing the murder of Jesus in it's original-sin
context makes
the story
sound like an insane God or a God
with kindergarten-level intelligence
wrote a nightmare
fairytale.
Second,
there's only heresy evidence about
what actually happened at the event
itself and in the days immediately
following.
Third, the story comes to us from people whose
basic belief system and whose perspective on life was vastly different from what
we know today. They would have interpreted
almost everything about the death of
Jesus very differently than you or I
would today.***ps-52-11a
Fourth,
the
story was handed down by word of mouth only for at
least four generations.
And
finally, the accuracy of their
interpretation of this story is seriously challenged by
the
historically
documented despicable behavior of the people in charge
of putting that story in the Bible and then
determining what that story meant.***ps-52-12
T.L.C.
Are you saying that if it suited their purpose, the
creators of the Bible would have
simply altered the
story.
Big
D
Yes, without the
slightest reservations.
If you look at the other things they
did, altering the original story
about the teaching and the intentions of Jesus
to suit their purposes would have been
nothing to them.
________________________
The
Story Continues in Chapter Fifty Three`
Interview
with The Devil -- Table
of Contents`
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